2016 Baby! We're going to be ok.

[job]

Right now, you need to worry about yourself. It's any wonder you can't stand he sight of him after all that he's pulled. It's very normal feel that way when they try to control, manipulate and make you look like a fool. However, you will need to find a way to put that anger to good use in working on you and finding a way to salvage your credit, etc. Now that you've said what is on your mind, leave it alone.

As for leaving the door cracked...I wouldn't worry about that right now. Your concern needs to be working w/your lawyer and taking care of yourself.

[beckyb]

Question? Why are you going to "work with him"? The only thing you should be worried about is protecting your future. Any and all discussion should be between the lawyers. He's not interested in your welfare. He's proven he can't be trusted. I don't want to be harsh but I'm concerned for you.

[inpain]

It goes around and around and around. H is unbelievable!

He showed up about 30 minutes ago. Politely knocked on my door and said He had D questions to ask me. Once again, I'm sitting here crying. He let it slip that he'd borrowed money from FIL to divorce me. For some reason, that slayed me. I am going down a cheeseless tunnel, I know. But it kills me to think of all the vile lies he's been telling about me being told to someone I really love. I'm so hurt by that, I'm having trouble catching my breath. I shouldn't care what his family thinks, but I do. They've been my family, too, for 20 years. But after the news story and whatever H has told them, I've been well and truly abandoned by his side.

(((((Ancaire)))))) I know how you feel. Not one member of my H's family have so much as called to ask how I am since he left and we have been together 19 years.

I guess I'll wait and hear from L. I don't know what else to do. I need to stop crying, that's for sure. Maybe I'll give myself 5 more minutes to mourn and then move it along?

I agree, that's the best you can do for now until you hear back from your L.

I've been encouraging everyone else all morning...and I'm dying inside. I want so badly to send him a message, letting him know he's so thoroughly destroyed my life - he'd better be freaking deliriously happy. I won't. It's a really nice fantasy.[quote]

That's the ironic thing about it isn't it Ancaire. I shouldn't think he is deliriously happy. No amount of happiness can compensate for the pain he is causing you. I feel the same about my H. That he can stand to do this to his two young children and he doesn't even look deliriously happy, in fact he looks the opposite, makes my blood boil.

[quote=Ancaire]It's been 10 minutes, and I'm still a puddle. Taking deep breaths.

Sometimes I think we just have to cry it out. I have done so much crying since Christmas I'd have thought I'd run out of tears by now.

[Ancaire]

Becky - he's playing so very nasty. I need money. He's withholding. We can go to court and duke it out, but guess where all the money he is holding will go? To his L!

I've finally figured out why I'm out of control, though. The humiliation of yesterday knocked me back into depression. Now that I realize what is wrong, I can fix it.

I need to remember that when I'm acting recklessly. My emotions are out of control. Sheesh! At least this, I can address and fix immediately.

[Vanilla]

It's the sweet cycle and you are going round in circles.

Go NC, let your L do the leg work, unless you do it is going to cost you a great deal.

He is scamming you.

He is nice then pulls a trick.

NC completely and no working with him you are under mining your own L every time you do. Your legal fees will be huge as a result.

Cut the contact. Don't agree to anything at all.

You are going to learn this in the end.

V

[Cherry]

im not overly aware of your sitch, but sorry he's acting this way. It's quite easy I think to fall into the hatred trap. I seem to have days when I think that I am going to start really hating him.
I agree though, I'd cut contact with him right now. Talk via your L and go NC. For your sanity if nothing else

[Ancaire]

I agree. Back to NC. Let L's handle the negotiations.

I didn't recognize it as a sweet cycle, V. But you are absolutely correct. I'm doing what he wants, and he is rewarding me by being somewhat nice to me.

Huh.

[Di-mond]

Is there no way for you to access any money? Joint accounts, savings? Take what you need and get away from him. Let the lawyers figure it out after.

[mutatio]

Ancaire, don't talk to your husband. Let the lawyer do the work. Be well, be strong

[Zues126]

Even through your L is too close. Get a L to relay to your L, then send someone else to that meeting on your behalf. I want WAH more connections away than Kevin Bacon by the end of the week...

PS- he doesn't deserve your hate. It's all good, it will pass. Let yourself ride that wave. Before long he'll provoke nothing more than a momentary twinge of regret, like you feel seeing an unidentifiable piece of road kill being worked over by hungry crows. Too bad for him...