onward - 13

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Hi Jelly and Fogg, I wanted to thank you for commenting and giving me support here and will get back to you on your comments.

I have run into a little snag - or at least something that I was never expecting.

Out of the blue today STBXW sends me a text message:

"I am truly sorry for the pain I caused you and us. I don't blame you for hating my guts...I am a terrible person for what I did to you and will spend the rest of my time here on earth paying for it."

and an hour later:

"why did I need to say it? I don't know...but it is how I feel. I don't deserve your kindness and I appreciate your willingness to co-parent."

I have been dark with her. Very little communication in the last two months. Though...she stopped by over the weekend with D15 who she was having a big problem with. I was able to calmly talk to d15 and WW to help them resolve it. I told d15 of my expectations when she is at my house and her mom agreed.

W thanked me for allowing them to come over and for my help with this. I felt really proud of myself for my parenting and being able to do so with W standing there. I have a feeling she was impressed.

She knows I am changing the house around, she knows that I don't come to her for anything, but she has asked me for things.

W is has thanked me for helping pay for d15s formal dress, even though I had nothing to do with determining the budget on such a luxury. I will help when I can. There are also extra school bills now that will have to be handled for s18 - I am handling those.

Those text messages may be just to sooth me and trying to say something in response to those things that I have done or am doing for her and the kids - or maybe it is actual remorse.. I really don't know.

But I also really don't know how to respond to this. I have ignored it so far, but that doesn't seem like I should just keep ignoring it.

She's not asking for anything, but I am usually not the type to just let a statement like that be ignored without a reply. Though, I feel like I have moved or am moving to a calm spot and this is not what I expected and maybe not even wanted at this point. I mean, I do appreciate her thoughts toward this, I don't disagree with most of what she said (though I really don't feel that I hate her), but I also don't know if I want to start a conversation about this and potentially move myself away from my calm spot.

I know I don't ask for much around here, but if there are any thoughts, I would love to hear them.

Thank you!!
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