It goes around and around and around. H is unbelievable!
He showed up about 30 minutes ago. Politely knocked on my door and said He had D questions to ask me. Once again, I'm sitting here crying. He let it slip that he'd borrowed money from FIL to divorce me. For some reason, that slayed me. I am going down a cheeseless tunnel, I know. But it kills me to think of all the vile lies he's been telling about me being told to someone I really love. I'm so hurt by that, I'm having trouble catching my breath. I shouldn't care what his family thinks, but I do. They've been my family, too, for 20 years. But after the news story and whatever H has told them, I've been well and truly abandoned by his side.
He wants me to hurry up, get it done. He won't help me get my car out of the shop. He won't help me with basic start-up costs for a new place. He's got money in the bank to pay for a lawyer in case we wind up fighting in court, but he won't use any of it to help me move out.
I e-mailed my L early this morning asking about his current actions. He hasn't made a payment on my car in over two months. He called them and told the lender to come pick it up - he wasn't paying for it anymore. Fortunately they refused to do that unless I agreed to it, but he's killing my credit. How am I supposed to find someplace to live with him letting all my bills go unpaid? I can't get a job in the meantime with this stupid felony on my record. I need to wait, I know, it's being taken care of - but I want out now.
I guess I'll wait and hear from L. I don't know what else to do. I need to stop crying, that's for sure. Maybe I'll give myself 5 more minutes to mourn and then move it along?
I've been encouraging everyone else all morning...and I'm dying inside. I want so badly to send him a message, letting him know he's so thoroughly destroyed my life - he'd better be freaking deliriously happy. I won't. It's a really nice fantasy.
It's been 10 minutes, and I'm still a puddle. Taking deep breaths.
Don't send any letters or emails. At least not till you've been advised by a vet.
Again, I'm sorry you're going through this but I promise you WILL get through and come out better and stronger on the other side. Your H on the other hand.....
Judy, I am so sorry. Here I am chatting away on my thread not realizing how much you are struggling. Is there any way for your L to order him to pay up emergency funds? It seems to me like you should have some rights. I am praying for you Judy.
We were supposed to have an emergency hearing today. I let him talk me into cancelling it. At the time, I didn't know he wasn't making car payments. I didn't know he had money sitting in the bank. I didn't know he'd taken out a loan against the 401K.
My L is getting pretty fed up with him. She must be in court because I haven't heard from her. I'll just be patient. What else can I do? I'm hoping his funds can be frozen. Wouldn't that be awesome?
BREATHE! I am very sorry you've had another incident w/your h.
Do not send him an email, text or even think of calling him. All you will be doing is adding fuel to his anger fire right now. You have to stop thinking that he cares and you can't guilt him into doing anything. He is an angry and desperate man who wants out of a marriage and right now, he doesn't care about anyone but himself.
I have also responded to your posting over on the MLC Forum.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
His funds can be frozen. That's the first thing I did was get a court order to freeze assets. In my state judges will usually sign it ex parte. Your attorney should submit and petition immediately.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
I don't know what is wrong with me....My hatred for H is just pouring from me...onto him. I can't stand to see him, look at him, or be anywhere around him. He came to ask me a question. I did not control myself. All of my hurt and anger came gushing out all over him like vomit.
He asked if I just needed to get it off my chest. I said, well yes I do. And out it came.
He wanted to know if I was still going to work with him on the D. I said, yes. The fact I hate you will not change that.
I'm not sure that qualifies as leaving a door cracked.
