I'm so sorry you are having a rough time of it, but some of them do borrow money from family members. The old saying that blood is thicker than water is so true when it comes to family. So, now you know not to speak to your FIL about the situation. You can't control your h and the lies he's telling people, but you can control how you react and deal w/this situation.
If your h had money in the bank, why would he be borrowing from your FIL? Don't you have access to that account? Even though you are separated, half the money in the bank is possibly yours. You need to ask your lawyer about this. The same as you being able to receive a portion of his retirement and/or 401K. Your lawyer can negotiate to have your portion of his retirement paid to you up front now or upon his retirement (but that depends on what company he works for). If you've been married 10 years and he's paid into social security, you'll be eligible to receive a small portion of that retirement each month when you turn 66 (I think).
Cry, scream or vent here, but do not call your h up and talk to him about how he's destroying your life, etc. That would be one more reason for him to divorce you. He doesn't care what he does or says to and/or about you right now. He's desperate to end this marriage because he thinks the grass is greener over on the other side. The more you try to reason w/him the harder he's going to shove back and yes, run.
He wants the divorce, then let him do the heavy work for it. If he wants it bad enough, he just might negotiate w/you and get your car out of the shop and give you some money. After all, didn't he want you to negotiate w/him on a shorter period of time for spousal support? Two can play that game if push comes to shove. But this tactic only works if he's truly desperate enough to want the divorce.
Ancaire, I know this is upsetting, but you've got to put your business hat on and start thinking of ways to help yourself and also w/dealing w/your lawyer. When a person is emotional, they are all over the place and make poor decisions. Start looking into government and state assistance programs and see what they offer.
Once you've calmed down, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start doing some research. You can do this!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
