It goes around and around and around. H is unbelievable!
He showed up about 30 minutes ago. Politely knocked on my door and said He had D questions to ask me. Once again, I'm sitting here crying. He let it slip that he'd borrowed money from FIL to divorce me. For some reason, that slayed me. I am going down a cheeseless tunnel, I know. But it kills me to think of all the vile lies he's been telling about me being told to someone I really love. I'm so hurt by that, I'm having trouble catching my breath. I shouldn't care what his family thinks, but I do. They've been my family, too, for 20 years. But after the news story and whatever H has told them, I've been well and truly abandoned by his side.
He wants me to hurry up, get it done. He won't help me get my car out of the shop. He won't help me with basic start-up costs for a new place. He's got money in the bank to pay for a lawyer in case we wind up fighting in court, but he won't use any of it to help me move out.
I e-mailed my L early this morning asking about his current actions. He hasn't made a payment on my car in over two months. He called them and told the lender to come pick it up - he wasn't paying for it anymore. Fortunately they refused to do that unless I agreed to it, but he's killing my credit. How am I supposed to find someplace to live with him letting all my bills go unpaid? I can't get a job in the meantime with this stupid felony on my record. I need to wait, I know, it's being taken care of - but I want out now.
I guess I'll wait and hear from L. I don't know what else to do. I need to stop crying, that's for sure. Maybe I'll give myself 5 more minutes to mourn and then move it along?
I've been encouraging everyone else all morning...and I'm dying inside. I want so badly to send him a message, letting him know he's so thoroughly destroyed my life - he'd better be freaking deliriously happy. I won't. It's a really nice fantasy.
It's been 10 minutes, and I'm still a puddle. Taking deep breaths.
