Rain, this whole thing is hell, pure and simple. I'm stunned at the text messages he was sending you. Your response? All in all, it wasn't that bad. You get that it was a mistake, but it wasn't an awful one. Learn from it, and let it go.
I've made so many mistakes. I never thought I'd be in this position, and I wasn't happy to be here. For a long time, I guess I was having a tantrum of my own. I realized it's been 5 months since BD. The first 4, I was in crisis. I've only begun to turn myself around at this point. And that was only after I nearly made a mistake there is no recovering from.
This is a process. Be truly gentle and kind with yourself. The fact you are here, on this site? That says a lot of good things about you. This site isn't for the weak of heart, or people who don't understand commitment and hard work.
