Back on these forums again 5

[Mona52]

Mona,
You've accomplished quite a bit this week from working, to school work, being a mother and now a handy person to fixing things for your mother. Try to carve out a bit of time for yourself or you are going to burn yourself out.

I think your conversation w/your daughter was very good. I hope and pray that your h finds his way and reconnections w/his children and be the father they need...but it will take some time and a whole lot of patience.

Keep up the good work!

(((job)))

Did I ever tell you that you are my rock????
I know I dont always listen (sorry!) but I hear every word you say.

You said something a little bit ago that really lifted a load off of me. I have a fear of stopping fighting for my M because it would be like me saying I was wrong the last 20 years for staying with him. You flat out said I was not wrong for the last 20 years. It is weird, but just hearing that sentence really made me feel so much better about things.

My one friend Diane is about to turn 70. To me, that is crazy because she is just like me. 2 peas in a pod. We are almost inseparable some nights. When she told me she was about to turn 70, it really hit me. She is 30 years older than me! I have only been with H for 20 years. I still have a good 40 or 50 years of partying. I can easily start a new life if I do decide to drop my H for good. It does not mean that the last 20 were a mistake. And now that I have perspective, I should not just hang in there because I have spent the last 20 years with him. 20 years is no time at all compared to what I have left.

I still believe in my H. I completely believe in the DB process. I am not ready to throw in the towel. I have set up my life so he cannot hurt me financially or emotionally as he once had the power to do. But the door is only being left ajar.

I am moving forward full steam ahead and it is completely possible he will miss this boat, and I am OK with that.

Now, you mentioned time for me. Something I can do so I wont burn out. Any suggestions? My mind is drawing a complete blank. Like a massage maybe?