You definitely need to know exactly what your situation is so you can react accordingly armed with information. As a former betrayed spouse who has spent hundreds of hours researching MLC's and infidelity I'd bet my bottom dollar he's fully engaged in a physical/emotional affair. He's saying all the textbook things, he's acting the textbook way. Asking him to be honest about it is an exercise in futility. Cheating spouses lie with the same ease as they breathe. Under an affair fog you can't trust one word out of their mouths. The upside with that is that you can't trust his hurtful words either about you "never clicking" and all that garbage. That's just affair fog-speak. Don't let it cut you. He doesn't mean it. He might think he means it but right now he's temporarily insane so when he gets hurtful let it roll off you.
First order of business now is focusing on what is best for you. Not the marriage, but you. Make yourself a priority because right now, he isn't making you a priority.
Be brave. Keep reading/posting at places like this.
