Separated- Wife in Emotional Affair

[trumpet]

By NOT answering her calls, she will be annoyed, but will start to realize you're not there for her. She will, after some time, begin to understand you are not plan B, with plan A being the other man. In withdrawls from an affair, plan A is still in front of you, and probably by a long ways.

You looking like a willing participant to plan B at any time will put plan A in a more dominant place. 'Look at this, Chris wants to be my friend, even when I'm pooping on him... awesome, he's such a great father, and such a nice guy. I think that means I can continue to see the OM and have Chris as my backup plan!'.

She will have to clear the fog of the affair. It's like she was possessed - at least that's how my wife seems right now.

I've heard some call it tough love. Tough love isn't yelling at your kids - tough love is putting your arm around them, when they're hurting, getting into their inner circle, and helping them to understand their actions were wrong, and how to fix it in the future. It's tough on BOTH parties.

Distance many times makes the heart grow fonder. You won't be burning your love bridge by putting distance between you and her.

Mvgfwrd2's adivce is very wise.

Ever lose someone close to you, Chris? How the grief comes in waves? And how you gradually become strong enough to recall those deeply personal memories and not cry, but smile at them?
And cherish them? That's what it feels like in my journey with my WW. I'm strong enough now to truly GAL and detach. There are bad days, but yesterday was a GREAT day. Today, I hope for the same.

Re-read Sandi's rules, print them out, and highlight the ones you're struggling with. Read them every morning. Your other homework - write down what YOU want to do with your gift of time. YOUR time. YOUR life. YOUR mission of love to those around you. Short term - write 2 or 3. Long term - write 2 or 3. Dare to think about your life, and your daughter, and where a spectacular life would put you. Kids have a way of putting our focus on the minute and day. Start to take a 10,000 ft. view of your life... pull back the focus on the mundane. And if you have a great church, get involved.