First time posting. Waw and trying to repair

[Mona52]

Tyler,

When I first started going out all I wanted was H by my side. I was having so much fun, alone. But I just kept at it. Little by little I was able to enjoy myself without wishing H was there with me. I still feel a humongous urge to get him to come with me often, but it passes and I go on with my plans.

I remember on New Years I was so sad getting dressed because my shoes were so cute, lol. My H has never seen me in my cute shoes. But it passed and I had an amazing night.

It feels like you are only doing this to win her back because right now you are only doing this to win her back. People can tell you all day that you need to go have fun for yourself. You need to make yourself better for you, but while it is still so fresh and new, it is impossible for you to do this. It is ok to fake it until you make it. Keep pretending you are doing this for you, and day by day that lie will become the truth.

If possible, do not get pulled into her moods. Dont worry if she is happy, sad or anything. She fired you from that job. Don't walk around on eggshells. It will make you look weak. Show strong and happy as much as you can.

I know her anger is confusing. She gets angry when you do the right thing and she is the one who is choosing this life, why is she getting angry? The reason is this is harder on her than you might think. Yes, logically you can say she can end this nightmare any time she wants, but she cant see that. She feels trapped, hurt and angry. When you do things right, it could make her furious, because why now?

That is why you cant get pulled into her moods. You cant help her. You can mindread what she 'might' be thinking.

You seem like you are already doing so well. This will be the hardest thing you have ever done, and it will last what seems like forever, but we are here every rotten step of the way.