I get what you're saying Zues, I do...but I kind of have a little quibble with it. I had a hysterectomy. My hormones were gone, kaput! I had zero drive. Turning it into a nightly duty would have made it a chore. Does any H really want that? (Never mind, I know the answer is yes. LOL)
I just asked him to let me know via a really simple, little act when he wanted to fool around. I never said, "no". I don't think of it spontaneously anymore. We used to be up for it at any time of day. My request was just to let me know if he was interested other than when it might be normally on the schedule, as stupid as that sounds.
It was to be a silent "hint" that we go spend some time together. I loved my H. I wanted him to be happy. But on a physical level, the hysterectomy changed me. No getting around it. I attempted to come up with some way to keep it fun, and let me know it was playtime - because it just didn't happen on its' own anymore. A work-around, if you will.
I couldn't do hormone replacement with the heart failure. I think trying to come up with some silent way to communicate was more than reasonable on my part. Why exactly do you disagree with that?
