Parents: help me parenting while separated (2)

[Ripe]

Thank you, Ancaire, it is very thoughtful of you.
And, more importantly, you offered me a gift on the same day I had some realizations that I hope will help me grow.
Yesterday some colleagues invited me for dinner. I said no at the beginning, as usual, but in the end went with them to the restaurant.
Another couple joined us and with them came a friend, a beautiful Russian. She sat by my side. We talked and by the end of the meal I realized I am still alive and the world still has a lot to offer. I will invite her out in a couple of days. If I do it, it will be the first time in more than twenty years that such a thing happens. I am not expecting anything, I only want to enjoy a great company.

I then realized I had to settle a time limit for my DB'ing efforts.
I can say the last time I felt happiness with STBXW was more than seven years ago. I have been DB'ing for more than one year now.
I will be doing this until 2017. Then I move on.

I was then in bed when I received a phone call from SIL. She told me STBXW had informed their father about the divorce. STBXW comes from a traditional family. Her father was the only one not knowing about our separation. He was told that I could not spend the holidays with them because I had to work.
I know STBXW was really afraid of this conversation. She respects her father very much and knows he will never understand her daughter. I also know that SBTXW faced this conversation as the ultimate challenge. She has now overcome the obstacle and the signing of the papers is what's missing.

Coincidently, I was reading, as I do often, old posts.
I have following Mutatio's sitch and his fear of detachment because of the fear of stop loving his wife. I loved Mona's explaination and suggestion. I also found this old post:

...and to add to this list is the reassurance that you will NOT lose the love you have for your spouse when you reach total detachment.

Many times the fear of the LBS is such that if they leave the MLC'er alone, detaching from their drama, the love will disappear.

I promise, based on my own experience, that it does NOT kill the love; in fact, you must love them enough to let them go this way......detachment is necessary for your mental health.

I have therefore taken the conscious decision of letting my STBXW go.
She must follow her path and find her own answers. She needs to find herself. And then we will see.
I will be loving her at a distance. A quiet, persistent and nondemanding love.