Zeus I think the "not working" for me is also partly about how H relationship with the kids has devolved. While I was having contact I would encourage him to spend time with them - inviting him for birthday dinners and holidays etc. without my encouragement his R with kids is nonexistent. Of course I know he is responsible for his R with the kids (they are all over 18) but they are so angry at him they don't want to see him and this is affecting them negatively. They are all hurting even more. It's not good for anyone.
