Azzork - I really really really love the way you explained that. It makes beautiful sense. I have been feeling like no contact has pushed H away because when I look back over the past year we always had contact - he was nice to me - he came for dinners - he did repair things around the house - since the kids walked in on him and OW I have reduced contact and since his anger over us going away at Christmas I have been NC. Maybe it was the going away at Christmas that pushed him farther away. But he has been with OW so I guess he has always been "away" it was just that he was being nice to me when I didn't know about OW Also as I have reduced contact it is like he amped up his R with OW. Moved in with her. Planning on going away in the summer with her
