I think of the pursuit/distance dance like going on a walk where you are walking 3 steps behind your H. If you go on this walk through life, you will always be chasing him. But your goal is to stop. At first, it will look like he's walking farther away, even though he hasn't changed anything, all you can do is hope that someday, he turns around and starts walking toward you again. But if you go after him, you'll just be chasing forever.
You aren't pushing him away....he's going to walk the same way no matter what you do. But if you stop, you give him a chance to walk toward you. And THAT is the only path towards reconciling. PLUS, it gives you the space that you need to grow and change, while he's doing his walk.
