SciDad, I don't know. It sounds like she is trying to break the connection with OM but can't. You know, the addiction theory. I wish I could call her or OM for you and help you out. Probably why they don't let us chat for real on here.
I think you are too available to her. She needs to feel what it is like to "miss" you. I think you should stop pursuing, stop asking her to spend time with you, stop cuddling/groping her in bed, stop being available as "plan B." Can you go out tonight? Go to the gym or someplace and be back in time to take care of the kids? And then go do your own thing after they go to bed, practice guitar or something? Keep yourself busy. Not with her.
