Back on these forums again 5

[Mona52]

Better look at what I did on my goals today. I am getting an itch like I am not taking enough action in my life and My brain will come up with a huge project for me to do if I feel I am starting to stand still.

Goal 1 was saving. I am broke, nothing I can do for that today, except, I accepted another book from the publisher. I already finished the 4 chapters due at the end of January today, so I am going to use the money I will get for that book once it is published as savings. So I can say I took a baby step towards this goal.

Goal 2. RUN! I am ashamed to say, not only did I not run yesterday like I wanted to, I went to bed at 7:30 PM. I was trying to deal with anger at my H yesterday. While he was in my home, with my sis and mom, my mother started to really yell at my S. It was 3:00 PM in the afternoon and the recycling was not picked up yet. My S is used to the trash and recycling coming before 8:00 AM, so at 3:00, when he saw the bin full, he thought we were accidentally skipped. He took the bin around to the back of the house, full.

I was not there, but I guess my mother had an fit at this. She was yelling at my S. My H ignored it all and just went home. My stupid sis, whom I have not spoken to in years, was the only one to tell my mom to shut up, that it was not my S's fault. Of course my mom did not listen to her so my S got reemed.

I was able to help my S when I got home. He was very upset by the whole thing, but I made it all better and he was happy. I scooped up my D15 and S12 and took him to get a hair cut and a new pair of school shoes. He ripped the bottoms off his school shoes yesterday so I had no choice. But I only had $50 to cover school shoes, a hair cut and tip and the ingredients to make spaghetti. We had to go to 3 different stores until I found a pair of shoes for $20.00, so by the time we got his hair done, we were pulling into the grocery store well past a normal dinner time.

D17 called saying she was locked out of the house and it was like 10 degrees outside. So we left the store, ran home, unlocked the door and all drove back to the store. I found the cheapest ground beef I could, and by the time I got home I was frazzled with stress.

The good news is my kids, who never, ever eat my dinners, all ate a ton and told me it was the best spaghetti in a while. I did the dishes and fell into bed, exhausted and fell right to sleep. So no running... Today I will run like Mr. Gump!

The bad part about sleeping so early is I woke up at 2 and could not fall back to sleep. I am functioning on fumes today. My bed was so empty and last night I just shivered all night. I could not pull my thoughts away from 3 different men, so I could not sleep.

Goal 3. I did not reach out to SCORE, but I did do a little research on the top 10 threats businesses should look out for in 2016. Hackers are getting more and more clever and I love reading what they are up to next. I can use that in my plan so I am counting that as a baby step done today.

Goal 4. I really did not feel like digging into this goal today. I am giving myself a pass because I did extra work on a different project.

Goal 5. My friends invited me to join them in a dance for the March of Dimes in March today. I will buy that ticket on Friday (payday), so that is a baby step in this goal.

Okay, it looks like I took a few baby steps today. I know why it feels like i am not doing anything. First, I still have my house. I moved from my house and we were supposed to pack it up and I can give the landlord my notice and move out. I am still paying on it because we still have some stuff there and I dont know how to move the rest alone.

It is weighing on my mind so heavily. I cant really afford the rent, because I gave my mom money for the house we live in. I feel stuck. I asked my H to help me at the end of December. He said he would talk to me after the new year. I asked him again on Jan 2nd, he ignored me.

I held my anger in check and did not say a word. I have to do this myself. I cant just do a bunch of other things to get rid of my stuck feeling. I will continue to feel like I am not moving as long as I have the house hanging over my head.

Also, I wanted to get one piece of school work done today, and I did not.

It is only 2 PM. I have the opportunity to both finish my school work and work on the house a little more to feel better. I had to post it here though so everyone knows. That way I cant just bury it on the back burner and pretend it is not there.

Before I go to bed, this WILL be my day. PERIOD. Now until the end of the work day, finish my school work.
Go home, Run.
Get dinner for cherubs. Finish dishes.
Drive S12 to Basketball practice. Take girls to the house. Move 4 car loads (I have a very very tiny car, lol) 2 with one D and 2 loads with the other D to my mom's house. Move EVERYTHING from basement to living room.
Pick up S from B-ball and fight him for dibs on shower.
Vacuum livingroom and stairs while I do my laundry.
DONE!

WOW, i feel so much better now. I should have kept posting my short term goals for a while now. I still feel like a freak when I say my plans out loud. But it feels like a release when I have them listed and it feels glorious when I tick one off after another. Now I just need the courage to hit the submit button...