So, after reading the rules and trying to apply them, I still have a question about talking to my spouse. He has moved out and I am not texting or calling him, just answering and trying to be upbeat. He asks lots of questions about my day which, when I try to be brief, he asks more. I don't want to cut him off or be cold. Also, is it okay to ask him how he's doing since he is asking me? Is this still pursuing, and if so, is that so bad if one of his complaints is that he felt that I did 't love him, merely tolerated him?
I haven't read your sitch, so I don't know the details. Up front, I would say that you can answer his contacts and continue to be warm and friendly. Answer any questions and talk about your day, as though he were a neighbor. However, don't reveal too much about your private moments, your feelings/emotions, and especially GAL. I think you can do the same (to an extent), for sake of not appearing mad, cold/mean. Like I said, I don't know about your situation, so I am taking a little chance in saying it. During his call, when he asks about your day, give him an answer and then casually ask about his.....but don't get detailed and don't continue "digging". Don't try to keep him talking in order to hang on to his time or attention. That is the point behind it, is not to appear clingy and desperate.
Last edited by sandi2; 01/05/1606:55 PM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
