Now what/ Take 2

[melweb]

I think H and I might be piecing. I am hesitant/reluctant/scared as hell to curse it, and it may be waayyyy to soon to declare that as fact. Certainly we have a long road in front of us. And yet I still feel.......??????

Upon his return from New Years Day Party, (And I question the validity of this), I asked no questions, showed no concern or care whatsoever for whatever the heck he was doing up there.
Day went on, and kept talking of future dates, future plans etc--I simply listened as I have heard this before only to have him turn around and say he is still more than 50% leaving.

I should preface this by saying, that 1)I figured that he is not the type of person to just come out and say he has changed his mind, had a change of heart, and that he would like to stay and work on this M. That he would just not go, or just put his ring back on and 2) I needed him to say the words, and that I was not going to ask.

So after 2 days of some talk of future plans, inter-mixed with some R talk, and a church service on forgiveness. I caved!!
Gosh darn it!! He had just thanked me for fighting for us, said we still had a lot of work to do etc. And I asked! I asked him "SO, you are not leaving?" And said "No, and you do not have to live in fear."

SO why do I still feel.....???? I don't even know what it is.
Well, I do feel like he is hiding something, or someone. He has admitted that he has these two new "friends that are girls" and didn't want me to get the wrong idea. Welll---that ship sailed buddy.

Any thoughts? Anyone else get this far and still feel feelings that you not sure what to do with?