Hi Tfish, I'm sorry to hear about this turn of events. My H decided to file and our Decree Nisi (UK) will be issued this week as far as I know. After that, he can make the D final after 6 weeks or so. However, we haven't yet reached a financial settlement, so that may delay a little.

Like you, I was pretty devastated. But it has also helped me in a way, because settling our finances is in my favour and it has taken the D process to do that. I'm also glad that he made that decision and not me.

But, I get how much it hurts - truly I do. Try and focus on your own steadiness, and know that now isn't a good time to be reaching out to him. Let him be, and as others have said - if he wants the D, let him do any work for it. I helped out my H by providing draft grounds for him to file against me on unreasonable behaviour grounds. That was partly because I wanted to save myself some more hurt (he was going to file on these grounds anyway) and partly I felt some urge to help him as he was so keen to get out of the M. I'm not sure if that was the right choice - but it is done now...

Just know that him filing for D is not the end of the road. It is just another bend in it. Only time will tell how things will ultimately turn out.

Take care xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus