Hi Ancaire, welcome to this part of the forum! It certainly sounds like a dramatic change for your H after his Mum passed away and he is the right age for MLC too. I don't have much to add to Job's wise advice, but for me two priorities stand out for you:

Focusing on your own wellbeing and your steadiness in very challenging circumstances

And

Working closely with your L and constructively (but with your own interests central) in respect legal and financial matters.

Do keep posting - there are some wise people, and it certainly makes a big difference to my life to spend some time each week with them.

Take care xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus