Stumbling, or moving forward?

[SciDad]

Strange events.

Wife came home late from work and had her favorite perfume on. It's not clear if she actually had to stay late at work or if she went anywhere else (OM?) instead. I distanced myself emotionally and tried to listen to her talk about her day (a new routine we do every night), but I was distracted (and angry) thinking about potential liaisons with the OM.

Then my wife kept complimenting me for things I'm doing and made a point of mentioning how I'm helping with things to her parents. It's almost like she's trying to repair past damage and paint me in a better light for them. I'll take it, but it seems odd.

Then my wife put the kids to bed and supervised their showers (my usual job) to give me time to finish a project for my job. She hasn't done that in forever and usually needs me to ask directly for her help before she thinks to do anything.

Then, instead of falling asleep (either on the couch or going to bed early) she took me up on my suggestion of watching a few shows together before bed. I made it more awkward than it should have been by refusing to touch her (not really, it just felt that way to me).

Then I saw she texted the OM last night saying that she felt "so lost." I'm not sure what that means for our relationship or her actions, but I don't like it.

I can't tell you how badly I want to remind her that she shouldn't be having any contact with the OM and to push our transparency plan, but I am resisting because I'm sure it will lead to a relationship talk.

It's so hard, though. So. Very. Hard.

To act as if nothing is wrong. To listen to her day, validate her fears. When I know she is living a double-life...