Letting go, finally

[JGuy]

My first question for you all on my new thread, is how to deal with situations where my W comes back to me seeking affection, closeness, and support?

We are still living in the same house at this stage, although we are considering ourselves in a "trial separation". This morning I woke up alone and sad, processing my feelings and trying to comfort myself as best I could. I cried a bit, thought some more, cried some more. I tried to assure myself that everything would be OK, despite not really feeling that way at all.

Suddenly, I felt my W's hand on my shoulder. She had quietly come in to the bedroom and I didn't hear her enter. She said "I woke up feeling very sad too". She laid down beside me, put her forehead against my cheek. I cried for a moment longer, then stopped as I breathed deeply and focused on continuing to let go and resist the urge to slip back into hoping that her act of coming to me like this was a sign that things weren't over yet after all. It was very confusing for me, and I didn't know what to say. All I ended up saying was "this is very hard for me". She said "me too". We were silent lying there for 5 minutes before she got up and went about starting her day.

I didn't really know what to make of it. I think I did a good job of holding to my commitment to detach, but I'm uncertain of what the best way is to handle these situations. I'm pretty sure it will happen again in the days ahead. Any advice?

Does anyone have advice on this? I continue to feel uncertain about how to respond and my W continues to reach out toward me, as I have now been firmly in detachment mode. Yesterday after she came to me in the morning, she texted me during the day to ask how I was doing. I just responded "I'm coping as best I can.". Later on, she asked me if I wanted to join her with my S7 for dinner after his ballet lesson. I did, but there was no R talk. I am finally doing a good job of holding to this. However, I am uncertain about how to respond to her when she makes attempts to connect to me. I am tempted to ask her what her intention is behind these attempts to connect, but thus far I have bitten my lip. I just try to be kind, not too cold or distant, but keep my responses brief. I can tell that she is feeling the distance and is really noticing my behavior change. If I was to guess what her intention is, I would have to guess that she is missing me, missing the platonic closeness that she didn't want to lose in deciding that it's over. I think she wants to keep the good parts of our R and remain "friends" to each other through this transition. I am confused because I want that too, but I am still struggling with detachment and my better senses tell me that if I'm serious about this detachment thing, I really do need more space from her.