I doubted, but I'm certain this is MLC

[job]

YOU CAN DO THIS! As I mentioned in another posting, your health is the most important thing right now. As your doctors have pointed out, it's a little at a time and yes, it's going to hurt, but once you are starting to get back on your feet, you'll begin to feel better. It's just like recovering a bit from being hit by a MLCer wanting out.

As for the two statements your h said about the blackmail and that he was angry he had to break it off w/the ow, they all have some excuse as to why things go the way they are. Some get blamed for the sun coming up, others get blamed for purchasing a certain type of laundry detergent and yes, others get blamed for living each and every day. They have to have some excuse for their anger and wanting out. He had choices to make and clearly he was stomping and kicking about them. They do like to rewrite history and will tell others some of the wildest and nastiest things about us just to be able to justify why he feels the way he does. If the people that he is saying this stuff to know what's right, they'll speak up there and then (which your h will then distance from them and not have any further contact) or they'll come to you later to tell you about it. There's nothing you can do about his rewriting of history...but you can hold your head up high and continue to be the woman that you are. A lot of the people will eventually figure it out.

Don't expect your h to respond to your texts. Don't expect him to be the "reliable" man that you once knew. That man is now the mirror image (exact opposite) of the one you use to know. If you continue to expect him to be a certain way or do certain things like he use to, you are going to be disappointed, angry and frustrated. You are dealing w/ a "pod" person who is off in his own little world and now it's all about him.

No more confrontations w/your h. You see what happened this time when you did so. Do not drink alcohol w/your meds and yes, alcohol is not a good mix for depression. You were very lucky that you didn't do more damage to yourself, other people in the area, and the vehicles. So, now you need to leave the alcohol alone.

Please stop trying to make him see reason. You can't get rational out of insanity. He doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't want the responsibility of a wife and family right now. All he wants is to run, be responsibility free and do whatever he wants and yes, even possibly spending money like water. In other words, stop poking the bear and remember...he fired you as his wife, companion, lover and mother of his children. You are not his mother and the more you attempt to guilt him into doing the right thing, the more determined he is going to be to run the other way.

I'm going to ask you this...are you absolutely sure you hit the truck? Could that truck have already been hit and you just happened to come along and became their patsy? I find it very interesting that his buddy was willing to drop the charges if you agreed to 7 months of spousal support and not the longer time. Yes, MLCers can be very smart and vindictive and will come up w/all types of ways to make us react to them. He knew exactly what buttons to push to get you upset and do something that you normally wouldn't do.

Because this guy likes to play games w/you, I would suggest that you go very very dim on him and only speak when he asks you something. Get a locksmith out there and have a good lock put on your MBR door. Makes copies of bills, bank statements, credit card statements, etc. for future use. Do not leave anything of value in your room. Remove anything that could be used as evidence, i.e., in favor of your case to a safety deposit box to a friend's house.

My concern is that he is trying everything he can to get you to lower the spousal support time limit. Stay strong, keep your lawyer apprised of everything he's saying and/or doing. It's important that you document everything so that you have a record in case you need to pull it out at a later date.

It's difficult w/the way things are going right now for you, but you really do need to keep your focus on you and your health. You've got to get stronger and be able to get back up on your feet. Try to remember this...if he starts talking and begins to get angry or threatening or if you sense that he's baiting you, end the conversation and leave. You can do this in a civil manner by saying "h, oops, I've got to be somewhere or I need to do something. I'll be happy to continue this conversation at a later time." The more you argue w/him the happier he is because he knows he's getting to you. Take that power away from him and put that power back on you.

I know you can do this!