M I totally get it. I laugh a bit... Hey if you can't laugh at this sometimes you will most likely just go nuts... At the 'meeting a person whom is interested' scenario and I've thought about my approach and concluded making up a story about w being A secret spy, getting caught and was brainwashed by Korean operatives is actually more reasonable than the truth of all that has happened. I mean how can you even explain it? What we've been through or put up with. I had a thought this morning as w and I have this distance between us lately ( I think it's back to the seperate sleeping arrangements due to us both being sick) ... Anyways it hit me, if this M fails I know I've do a all I can, and it will fail not because of what w has done, but what she failed to do as it seems she has gone back into the tunnel a bit, not all crazy OM/A ... But seems just havin me there made her feel safe and in a sense stopped her from doing the work, like you I'm growing weary and at a point I deserve better, and I want to move on with my life as its been to long.
I don't think there is anything wrong with these thoughts, we've become stronger and demand more than what we were dealt, especially now ... What's the worst that can happen ya know? We've already lived through the worst of it. I've been guilty of hanging deadlines on this type of stuff, now I am just doing my thing and really thinking about MY life .... With or without w remains to be determined, I'm trying to remain patient and open minded but yeah ... Something is going to have to start moving in my favor... Probably where you are at too.
So we keep pushing, keep growing and developing, if they can catch up we would welcome that but it seems that no longer defines who we are. My thoughts, do not get wrapped up in the new year trap, continue to be the amazing you that you are and things will fall as they will... Out of your control... I know for a fact I'm where I am supposed to be... Lyrics to a song ring in my head " I know you didn't bring me out here to drown"
