Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post, Job. I really, truly appreciate it.
I agree with you. My health is number one right now. I'm not going to make any true progress until I start turning that around. There's a lot that I can be doing that I've been reluctant to do - but the time for procrastination is at an end. Each of my doctors tells me that it will hurt, badly, at first. As I gain strength, take off weight, and build endurance I should start feeling better and better. That would be amazing! It really does affect your personality to be in pain every single second of your life. It is so hard to explain to people.
I agree I will feel better without the D hanging over my head, but honestly, I feel myself welling up again right now. I don't want this. I never wanted this. But I'm creating an even meaner monster by not letting him have his way - and I? I just can't handle H and his rages. Stress does a number on my physical body that is really impossible to ignore.
I have an excellent L, I'm happy to say! So much so that H ran out to find his own, once I started telling him her thoughts. It is a business negotiation. I spent 21 years helping him along in his career. This version of H wants to put me out in the street with nothing. If it hadn't been for my L, he would have succeeded. He really hates her. I'm letting her handle all of it. She is intent to get the best for me. She is none too happy with any of his behavior. I really lucked out when I found her.
I like your idea of breaking things down into smaller portions. I am a bit overwhelmed, and that is an excellent suggestion. Thank you for that. I can easily do something like that, and it will make me feel so much better to be able to see I'm making some progress, like I will with things broken down into steps.
Thanks again for your time and thoughts. I truly appreciate it.
