Forgive yourself. If you can journal what happened, you might find that useful. Many of us here do.
We also can give some insight into how to approach things better next time.
We care about your sitch.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
