First time posting. Waw and trying to repair

[Tyler12]

I apologize if I come off as panicking. Because part of me is. I have always been very intimate and close with my wife. Or felt I was anyway. Hugs kisses speaking my affection and being available for whatever she needed. So this is a definite 180 for me. I feel like I should give The major issues that caused the breakdown from my side. From the beginning there were huge missteps in my part. I was not open with her off the start and we had been dating a few months when I told her I was not actually divorced. Separated for 3 years but not legally divorced. That did not go over well and we both immediately started the process of getting my divorce done. During this time tho I stepped back as she seemed to be handling it well enough without my help and I was only partially involved.
My financial choices before W were also very poor and she explained my options were bankruptcy or jail time as I had letters for court dates for non payment at this point. I opted for bankruptcy and once again. Other than my signature I let her handle it all. If it was something she could do I let her and she did it. She came to me several times asking for help with this or that and I would until the next day and I would go back to my old ways. I found myself lost in a computer game and it took up all my free time. I played it every chance I got and I neglected any time with S. W has always been a go out and do stuff person. Socialize. Camping. Not sit around the house. And I was lazy and we never did anything. I see all my shortcomings. Eliminated the problem areas and have been more active. Like waking the dog. Which I never did before. Looking after my issues. Finances. And working on projects in the house. Spare time is spent with my kids and finding stuff to do. And it feels amazing! This change in me however brought on resentment from her as she indicated if I had been like this for 5 years we wouldn't be having this issue.