I have no idea why I was led to this post...well, yes I do!
Oh, how I needed to read it. It strikes me as odd, because I've looked through the MLC threads before, and haven't seen this - but it is exactly what I needed.
I see dependent behaviour from both of us...I just got through reading "Codependent No More", and understood it as far as my relationship with H went - but I didn't seem to grasp my side of it. Now I do. I was just as damaging to him in my own way as he was to me.
I've accepted this will all take time. I'm convinced H is classic MLC, and it could be years before he returns to himself, if ever. I've been pretty cold and standoffish - it's the best way for me not to cry. I really need to work on that, though, if my true intention is to be the lighthouse.
Time to start setting some goals again, and becoming the person I want to be. I will work on an attitude of lovingly leaving H to his own mess. I tried everything I could to save him from himself, and all that did was harm me in the end. Time to cut the rope, and just let go.
I suppose my broken heart is all part of the process?