Hi Is...just caught up with all the happenings. You've gotten some good advice. I'm kind of in GB's camp. She helped herself to your journal. She had no business reading it, and even less being upset about what she found.
Personally, I think her grief and the strained M has her feeling on the edge of a cliff. She's lashing out because she's in pain. I wouldn't listen to a single word coming out of her mouth at the moment. She is hardly in any state of mind to be making permanent decisions.
I recognize the lashing, because I tend to do the same thing. If I hurt, I go on the defensive. It is one thing I am working hard to change. I'm learning to just accept the emotion, recognize it as an emotion, and calmly think my way through it. Your wife probably isn't even aware at this time that she does such a thing. I've had the benefit of being fired as a W to take a look at myself and see where I can improve.
So, for now. Nothing. You guys have got to get through the funeral. She has no business making decisions about anything until that's been accomplished. You just validate when necessary, give her plenty of space, and GAL. That's really all you can do for the moment. I suspect as the funeral nears, she will start lashing out again. She's in pain, and it's likely her coping mechanism. The trick for you is to keep your emotions out of it and just stay calm.
