WAW - Detaching is the Hardest Thing

[isittoolate]

GB/Trumpet- W acknowledges she shouldn't have snooped - but I was the dumbo that left the journal on my bed - such a stupid thing to do.

It doesn't matter now, as Zeus says, I am detaching and it feels good.

I feel calmer inside - I'm reading the love languages for Children book and will love my kids more than ever.

As regards GAL - last night a 5k, tonight a meal and drink with an old friend- he is having marriage problems - Mainly fights with his W - I think I can give him some rock solid advice!. Wednesday I will be cycling with friends - 2 hours. Then more cycling at the weekend with the cycling club.

Last night was ok with W.

Importantly no R talk. She initiated conversation. No resentment or spew. She brought me some Xmas cake from a friends house - she can't eat it as it contains wheat. She cooked my meal. She asked about my IC session. Later she asked if I wanted to watch TV with her and sat next to me rather than across the room.

It sounds like I am not detached by listing her every interaction but I think it's how you feel inside - I feel better than for a long time - I had the best nights sleep for a month - 6 hours.

I think there will be no more R talk from her until after her Fathers funeral next week. I will endeavour not to give her cause for an R talk. She knows that to progress to divorce she has to make the next move.

The R talks at the weekend were caused by my snooping regardless of whether my snooping was justified or not. I intend not to give her reason for an R talk.

January is usually quiet socially so I will concentrate on exercise and DIY projects - small minimal cost projects. I will also reach out to my friends for support.

This morning W had a drama at work with her Hospital Dept flooded by overnight rain and failed pumps. She rang and texted me initially on another subject but quickly changed to her problems at work. - I listened and validated etc.

She did say 'I bet your happy I've another trauma to deal with in my life' in a funny haha kind of way.

In her head I have contributed to her 'trauma' in a big way - the big fight on her bday and the snooping - adding to her trauma of the death of her Father . Whatever!! I can't change they way she thinks and feels.