Looking for advice

[- MB -]

Wrigley,
So sorry that you have to be here, but you have found a great place to get information and support. You will find many others here that share similar stories and that can help guide you along your journey. When I found out about my H affair, I did all the typical WRONG things....begging, pleading, crying, panicking, begging more, clinging, trying to change his mind, explaining why he was wrong, etc, etc, etc. I was very skeptical about the 180, but I had ran out of other options because everyithing I did up to that point pushed him away farther and alienated us. I finally tried the 180 and after 5 weeks of no contact (and it was the HARDEST thing I had ever done), my H decided that he wanted to be married and work things out. After almost 2 weeks, he changed his mind again and I am back to square 1 and having to reinitiate the 180. It is so very hard, but I know that is my only option. While doing the 180, you should take the time to work on yourself. Go out and get a life (GAL). Take up a new hobby, hang out with friends, go for a walk, whatever you want to do, just keep yourself busy and out of the house. Go dark and be mysterious. It really will make them curious. When she sees that you're not sitting around waiting for her, she will wonder where you are and it will spark her interest. Wait for her to initiate contact, unless you need to talk about the kids or finances or something important. When you do communicate with her, do not bring up talk about your marriage or R, just keep it casual and try to be as upbeat and friendly as you can. You want her to think that you are moving on without her. I am certainly not an expert so I'm sure others with more experience will chime in. Good luck, I hope your wife returns to her senses soon.