I think you did a fantastic job. I laughed when I read Ancaire's reply because it's much closer to what I would have said.
I can't believe you weren't an attentive dad. Many dads become more active after a divorce because the mothers tend to manage the children and set themselves up as the primary parent while they're married (and as we know, even after).
She did good in using her experience with missing the kids to empathize with you, though!
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17