Welcome Nate. I'm sorry your divorce moved so quickly. Skimming over your story, a few thoughts come to mind:
1) You need to keep the focus right now on your own growth and development. You've made a great start and whether you and your ex ever reconcile or not, your life will be better for it.
2) Face your problems with addiction straight on (it's all part of the same, the drinking, the EAs, the porn). Sounds like you have had a good counselor, a 12 step program is probably also in order.
3) Own it. You messed up your marriage. Your ex might not choose that rollercoaster again, but even so, you'll grow in her eyes if you honestly own your faults in the marriage.
4) Don't make any big changes. You're not ready to date. Your focus right now should be totally on personal growth.
