More and more, and less and less...

[JulieH]

I think it was great that you owned up to her and acknowledged how much she did with kids alone over the years. Based on some of her remarks in the past, it seems like she felt unappreciated regarding this and feels that you did not recognize how difficult it is to take care of small children. (Not saying you did, just saying she might have felt like this)

I'm not good at validating and putting thoughts into words, but...
Do you think that she feels that you perhaps had "emotionally divorced" her first? Which is why she felt it was mutual. I know I feel like that with my husband and the way he will not communicate with me. (although our case is different because my husband physically moved out. Also you mention that you wrote and expressed your desires to make marriage work).