After rereading my exchange I am very satisfied with how I handled it. I acknowledged my contributions, then validated that I understood she felt she didn't have a choice...meanwhile I didn't AGREE she didn't have a choice, I merely stated I understood that's what she felt...so there was a teeeny truth dart in there...also I didn't break my policy of not opening up with MY feelings or emotions considering that she never asked...so I don't think there was anything that would hint at neediness, pursuit, sadness, or any attachment. Then I ended by talking about being a good dad, again, validating her comment, but not agreeing it was because of the divorce.

I think I did good. Again, it doesn't really matter, I am just doing this out of habit and not wanting to give her the satisfaction of drawing me into a debate, opening up, or acting in a way to justify her decision. Oh, and because I'm trying to do my best in general!


PP- I think it's even better without talking about what we wanted or what's in our heart...just the first half, "I understand you didn't feel it was a choice" is perfect. She didn't ask how I felt, I don't need to state it. But thank you. I am doing good. In a weird way it's cool that it stirred up a little sadness, because I am more excited by how quickly that pain faded and how little it hurt than I was stung. If that makes sense. Keep going guys!

Last edited by Zues126; 01/05/16 05:34 AM.
Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15