WW, My Addiction, Patience is HARD

[trumpet]

Georgia Bulldogs,

I am so grateful that you posted. God bless you!

I realize now that telling them before my wife tells them is probably the way to go. When the bomb dropped, I sat down with D14 and S12 and the Bible. Our church teaches the parents catechism, so I was already teaching them lessons, and brought up what adulterty is. I explained I loved their mom, but their mom was doing something that she shouldn't be doing.

I'll probably do something of the sort this week.

Before I left to go church training tonight, my wife, who joined the church before I did, and we got married there, made fun of me going. She made fun of HER church and what they believe - the gall of pastor to actually call her out on adultery.

Man, it really put her to a new low.

It also made me realize that my family, as I know it, is dead.

I cried alligator tears, and went to each one of my kids as they were tucked in for bed, telling them that I'm sorry, and sorry that I couldn't stop it from happening. To feel your family die in front of you, right now, in this hour, is the greatest loss I have ever felt in my life.

My D7 gave me one of her teddy bears to cuddle with in my bed. She got me tissues as well. My son cried with me, and my D14 texted me later and told me it will be alright, and that mom has something wrong with her - that she'll keep fighting to keep the family together.

I just lost it after that. Went downstairs, on the hardwood floor of the kitchen, and just completely lost it.

Something in me broke tonight. I finally admitted that I helped cause the failure of my family. And I begged God to take away the pain.