now her finger is black & blue and swollen to almost twice its normal size
She needs an xray. Ignore ex's "toughen up" BS and get her seen.
My ex was like that too - he grew up in a family where you never admitted to being sick and the harder you worked, the more you were valued. When I developed health problems during our marriage, he pretty much expected me to just suck it up, had no empathy for what I was going through (and trust me, I am SO not a whiner!).
