"He texted me agin at 5 am asking if this is the R I want him to have with the kids because that is what I am fostering"
This is delusional deflection. He can't face what he has done, he can't own his own $hit so what does he do, blame the victim. That's like blaming the rape victim because she wore a short dress. I'm sorry but I'm calling Bull$hit on that.
His relationship with his kids is his responsibility not yours. This is between the 2 adults in each relationship. If he doesn't like the situation he's in then he should change his behavior.
