WW, My Addiction, Patience is HARD

[trumpet]

Last night was me getting anxious about the M, and worrying about the kid's future. Getting my hope up when she meets with our pastor, and then the letdown when she comes home and says nothing, and looks like she's more confident of her affair sends me over the edge.

I really need to let her burn her s--t down.

And you're right, Mowgli, I don't deserve to be treated like this. I've not had my emotional or physical needs met by my wife for YEARS, and I thought that was my lot in life. It was for the kids, and to leave them something - getting out of debt, starting college accounts, building up the 401k, since my relationship wasn't all that good with my W. She was just seemingly angry all the time - my family now admits to me that they thought she always seemed pissed off... I said that was her normal attitude, at least when I was around!

I would need to see changes in her, BIG changes, to want to be with her. Letting go of the family dynamic is my achilles heal. The kids don't deserve a constantly angry mom, and a dad who is defeated from life, but they also don't deserve to have a split family.