paryutsukI bhavati

[Mona52]

I hate that sword, I feel it always present above my head as well.

mut, you stop living in fear by facing the fear head on. You have said a few times before you are scared of detaching because that could mean that you will stop loving your wife. Love is a decision. If you wanted to, you could take this for a tiny test drive. This will be hard and surreal, but tell yourself, and make yourself believe for just the next hour that you do NOT love your wife. Dont worry, at the end of the hour you can go back to deciding to love her again. I just want you to see what an hour feels like in your worst nightmare, you no longer love your wife. If you try it, you will see your life is not so bad.

Love is a decision. You can decide to drink coffee or you can get wild and crazy and decide on a cup of tea. You can decide to love your wife no matter what and go to crazytown or you can decide that to love her right now is only hurting you, your children and her. You can decide to love her enough to give her what she wants, which is the absence of your love.

But before you get too afraid, remember, love is a decision. If you get into trouble, you can just decide to love her again. You are on a journey. All you need to focus on is tiny baby steps to get a little closer to your goal.

I also want to put it out there, you are the father. If you want to yell at your children for behaving badly, and preventing someone from getting hurt, you yell! In what universe did it become a bad idea for a father to yell at the kids? I would kill for a father to yell at my children most days. They need it. You need it.

I understand there is some past issues. But dont overkill change. You are the strong, stable father they need, no matter how your W feels about it.

Now start your hour of no love and come back and admit it was kinda liberating...