Back on these forums again 5

[Mona52]

Happy New Year people! I had such a fantastic new year. I hear you guys saying slow down, but I'm sorry, I cant agree. Maybe I gave the impression it was me, a lot of liquor and a bunch of guys, but that is not the case. I go out with a group of about 15 friends. You should have heard them on new years. They all expressed over and over how thankful they were that in 2015 we all met each other.

I have only known these people since October, but I feel like I have known them my whole life. We are all doing things we never imagined we could do, because we have each other. I have been on one date with one guy, so it would be hard to go much slower

So New Years we all went to a friend's house for a huge dinner of pork and sauerkraut. My belly ached by the time I left from laughing so much. They we met at the bar where we bought tickets for the new years celebration. I had the perfect dress and the cutest shoes. It made me feel like a princess and I danced and laughed all night. And I was still able to taxi 2 of my kids to 2 different parties and home at the end of the night! I got a small break because my S spent the night with his cousins.

Friday night we all went to see a DJ. Friday is our normal night to go out, but the place we go to decided not to book a band because they had a big party on New Years. Since they only had a DJ, the place was pretty much empty except for our group and another small group. It was amazing. We had the whole dance floor to get as goofy as we wanted all night. I was really able to just relax and I was so sad when the night ended.

There was this other guy who is not part of our group. I see him there all the time, and everyone from our group knows him. My impression of him has always been he is a narcissist who strutted around and expected the women to fall at his feet. So I stayed away from him. Most of the guys I dance with are much, much older than me. He is more in my age group, so I really try and stay away.

Well, lately he has been asking to dance with me more and more. I have a hard time saying no because I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings. So I have been dancing with him. On Friday, with the DJ, there was hardly anyone there, so we danced together all night.

Last night I went to the singles dance, he was there and he asked for a bunch of dances from me last night too. I think I was too harsh on him. He is one of the few who actually does not say creepy things to me. He is able to hold an intelligent conversation while dancing superb. How nice is that? Last night he taught me the hustle, which is super easy and he was a great partner. It is an adjustment just standing with him. My husband is 5 foot even. I am taller than him. So for the last 20 years I have kinda crouched when I am with him. I never noticed I did it, but other people told me I do it. I never wore heels because I would tower over my H. This guy is so tall. My arms ached after a slow song from reaching up so high when I first danced a slow song with him.

Now I stand tall beside him and it feels great and weird. My arms no longer ache because of the way he holds his dance partners.

Am I using him to mask pain? Well, when I am out with my friends, I dont feel the pain. When I am dancing with him, I dont feel pain. I feel happy and free and young and beautiful. When I am home, I dont think about my H texting me anymore. I think about other people (yes, mostly men). I did not give him my phone number yet and I wont see him for another 2 weeks. So I am not moving too fast.

I hear you loud and clear when you say be careful. Before I went to see Chris I looked up his FBI results from his finger prints (Act 151), his Act 34 which is child abuse clearances and his record because I found out he worked for the state and so do I. So I could see all his information in my databases. I knew, down to the penny how much he made a year and how long he has been in his position. I knew he had no criminal record and when I was with him I used every imaginable amount of protection from any issue I could think of. I am all my kids have, I will not be reckless and leave them motherless.

Jerkface is also making things oh so easy to dump him. He attempted to financially cripple me at the end of December. Too bad, I was way ahead of him and moved everything out of my name months ago so he cant legally do anything except pay his bills. But I did not lash out or retaliate. He told a bill collector that I said I would pay an overdue bill and he gave him my cell phone number. I calmly told the bill collector that the bill is not in my name and I removed my name months ago, so sorry.

I hate him for doing that, but I did not text him and tell him how badly I wish a certain body part would just fall off. The thought of communicating with him, seeing him or having him close enough to touch me makes my skin crawl right now. So I will not contact him. I will just let him and OW enjoy each other.