Actually, Fogg - what you have there is pretty darned good!
I, too, have trouble believing we won't ever be back together. I have accepted the answer may just be time. What I am resolved to do, is to just learn to be grateful for where I am and what I have. I have to start rebuilding "me", and I've already begun that process. Learning gratitude in the midst of chaos is something I believe we are all meant to learn. It's also extremely hard.
Regarding my bad parenting moment? I did explain I was just venting, and I know he understands. I also know in spite of all the explanations, the words still hurt - and I really understand why. I can't undo it. I am just resolved to be much more careful in the future. I would never have said such a thing if I thought it would be overheard. To me, this is a lesson. I wish my son hadn't been hurt by it - it happened, though. But, I DID learn that lesson.
He knows I love him. He knows I never would have let those words cross my lips if I'd known he could hear. He really understands - but it still hurt. I fully understand why. The lesson was for me.
