WAW - Detaching is the Hardest Thing

[isittoolate]

Zeus et al

W came into my room at 5 am to talk as she knew I wasn't asleep.

She said she felt I would be writing down every conversation between us and felt paranoid with me in the house.

I said I understood as I had been paranoid for 4 months. I said I wished she hadn't seen the journal but I couldn't undo what she had seen.

Essentially she was itching for another R talk. This situation can't continue etc. we need to have an adult conversation about the future etc. I was trapped in bed and could either say nothing or state my position.

I stated my position. I believe in marriage , marriage vows, for better for worse. She said we can't stay married especially after yesterday and how she feels paranoid about every interaction between us.

She said that she wants what's best for the boys and that would be an amicable divorce. I said divorce would be the worst thing for the boys and I didn't want to become a part time dad and her a part time mum. She said the boys would cope as we are nice people.

I said people forgive and feelings change.

She feels she is on the edge of a breakdown especially with what's happened to her father. This limbo needs to change and she doesn't want to feel like I am the enemy. She respects me and always wants to feel that way towards me.

Eventually she went to work.

I noticed she has taken off her wedding rings and removed two wedding photos from the dresser in the MBR. Also she has covered up a 3rd photo.

This hurts.