Updated/still thinking about next steps

[kyrie]

I get that Zues - but to expect it, after having revealed the ultimate rejection 1., but 2, I actually reached over to his arm and leaned in for a hug or more in bed. He said he'd rather not. So what should I take away from that? He's conflicted? Or ?

I get rejection from him all the time. He expects me to prove my love that way - for it to be perfect. I don't consciously think that way but I get what you are saying too.
I get that the prostitute and the porn woman is always there, always willing, has no needs of her own, and would never reject him. I totally get that. But I also know that's not real and it is damaging.
Please Zues - I really need to hear your perspective, if you're willing.