Looking forward to the new year

[JulieH]

For the first time in a while, I felt the strong urge to call him and ask him straight up what is going on. Do you want to work on this or no? If he gives me a no, I move on. I have my answer. Sure it's yet another rejection but I Got through it before. If he says yes we can figure out how. I just called and I am happy he did not pick up phone.

So I went back to that conversation we had prior to going to court...

He had said that he understands that I wanted to try to make things work and has felt like he had been trying for years. That he recognized that I have been doing a lot of things lately....said "I was hoping we could clean slate and give it 1 last try. Take it slow, no guarantees, no expectations. See if it's possible. I'll agree to go to counseling and just see. I have no idea if it's too late or not"

He also said

"Do I think it's gonna be successful? I don't know. At this point I feel we are pretty far gone. "
"There's a lot of resentment. You think I abandoned you I think you pushed me out of house and you abandoned me"

This conversation was confusing to me, but gave me hope at a time I had none. I had mentioned to him retrovaille and followed up with a text about it. He asked me about it when we went to court. Then after court we were tense and argued. Argued about me not working full time and this being expensive for him.

Since then neither of us brought anything up and now we only text about kids.