She Wants Me to Leave 3rd Time .....EA or not EA?

[Zues126]

I know I'm on the outside but it seems that you are missing that the marriage is over. You can't bring her back. All you can do is become a strong, independent man that is capable of finding his own happiness and being a spiritual leader of your family. She needs to go on her own journey. Maybe she'll hit rock bottom and make changes in 6 months or 6 years. Maybe she won't. There is nothing you can do to speed that process up. All you can do is slow it down by enabling her, protecting her from the consequences of her actions, and remaining attached/clingy/needy and giving her more reasons to want distance and to feel disrespectful.

I will quote what I said last time. Maybe if I repeat it the truth will sink in.

In your post in which you talk about her discovering your journal you broke a number of rules:

1. You had an R talk. It takes two to have a talk. If she brings it up you can either validate, or you can leave.

2. You didn't validate. She told you what she wanted. You didn't validate, but instead disagreed, leading to:

3. Pursuing. Instead of validating, you restated what you wanted.

4. You are believing what she is saying. You are treating her statements of intent like they are 100% factual, and you are treating her statements of her feelings like you are responsible.


I don't know if your WAW will look back, the sad fact is that many don't. But this can't be helping.

What can you do to let the marriage go, let her go, and create some space to work on you and your new life without her? And setting some boundaries so you aren't so entwined?