Stumbling, or moving forward?

[SciDad]

Ancaire, let's GAL at the same time!

I also feel like I see positive signs my wife cares, but also many that she hasn't totally turned toward me yet. GALing will help us both stay patient, although you have personal safety issues that I thankfully don't have to deal with...

You were not whining, and you telling me your story provides support than you will ever know. I am humbled to hear you say you are learning from me-I always felt like I learned so much more from you. How to be strong and courageous in the midst of incredible pain. How to stand up for myself. How to remain hopeful in some of life's most hopeless moments.

In short, you inspire me.

Let's make a deal with each other to keep working our damndest on ourselves. Yes, we want or spouses to join us at some point. But I'm happyou settling on becoming a better person.

[SciDad]

Update: had another full day outing with our kids and my in-laws. I managed to remain very calm and pleasant. And I think we all had a good time. One thing I noticed is that my mil kept making my wife sit next to me. It used to bother me that my wife would sit with her mom instead of me, but I don't think I care any more. I've got so much more to worry about, lol.

I was so calm in fact, that I became the voice of reason when my in-laws started having problems with my youngest son. As he started to ramp up and get angry, I pulled him aside in front of everyone else and took him on a walk. We chatted together as he called down and he returned happy. Honestly, it turned into a bonding moment for us, and I have to think I showed off some awesome parenting skills while my wife pretty much just sat there.

Score one for me.

Not much more to report. My wife fell asleep on me on the couch and is starting to snore loudly. She's lucky I think it's cute, lol. I'll try getting her to bed after I finish posting, but I usually fail (she's a very deep sleeper). When I'm paranoid I think she's waiting to text the om, but I don't care as much anymore. I just put a blanket on her and go to bed.

[TxHubby]

You're doing really great. Just stay the course and try not to overthink things.

[Ancaire]

All right, SciDad..I will take steps to GAL. I'm going to spend some time thinking about what I can actually do, and then start doing it! So far, my GAL has basically just been this board.

I need to be out of the house, being busy. Not holed up in my room, typing away. I'm ready to move on, so maybe my first GAL will be focusing on getting me out of here. I can let him go. I have to - his actions have already driven me insane once, and I'm not so much better that it couldn't happen again. I NEVER want to lose it so completely again.

I lost my dignity, my self-respect. My reputation was damaged. That hurts. I've always been proud of myself as a person...prided myself on having integrity, values. Being part of the evening's news, with the story not correctly reported, and strangers referring to me as "bat ass crazy"...OMG

I guess I can only go up from here. So my GAL will be focusing first on actively removing myself from the house, so that I am no longer a target. Then, when I'm out, I'll start working on having fun. I could use some fun in my life.

I have the beginnings of a plan! Now THAT is progress! Thanks for challenging me, SciDad.

[JksD]

Hi Scidad, that calm parenting moment with your s was great! I am always very impressed by dads who can calm their kids down.

[SciDad]

So far, my GAL has basically just been this board.

I need to be out of the house, being busy. Not holed up in my room, typing away. I'm ready to move on, so maybe my first GAL will be focusing on getting me out of here.

YES, YES, a thousand times YES!

Being part of the evening's news, with the story not correctly reported, and strangers referring to me as "bat ass crazy"...OMG

I know it's easy for me to say, but the past is the past. You can't change what was done or how you reacted. All you can do is try to become stronger so that it doesn't happen again. I also want to mention that although it was devastating to you, it will not be remembered if you put it behind you and become the person you want to be. All people will remember is how well you treat everyone, how beautiful your soul is.

So my GAL will be focusing first on actively removing myself from the house, so that I am no longer a target. Then, when I'm out, I'll start working on having fun. I could use some fun in my life.

That sounds like a perfect plan. One day at a time toward these goals. Remember that it will take patience, like everything else in life (and DBing), before you see results.

I look forward to your updates and implementation of your plans

[SciDad]

I'm sure it wasn't nearly as awesome to everyone else, but I was super excited to be able to step up when needed and actually help my son through some stuff. Not the easiest thing in the world, especially now

[NateG79]

Good to see you again.

[SciDad]

Should I be concerned that I found an email from over 2 years ago where my wife called the OM sweetie ? That was before he filed for divorce, before they set up their chat app, before they sent each other naked pictures, and WAY before I had a clue...

My take on my "find" is that yes, this is going to take a HELL of a lot longer than I thought and I'm trying not to think about how my wife lied to my face when I first asked if I needed to be worried about the OM.

As far as I know there has been zero contact in the last week. We'll see what happens now that my in-laws are gone. I'm sensing another confrontation on the horizon

[Vanilla]

That is W bag sweetheart. Her lies, just sniff and deal with those that arise now.

Predicting a confrontation?

Not so useful really, can you reframe this?

V