Painter, I don't know how I missed your thread before. But I am glad I caught it now, there are some encouraging signs. I am going to go back and catch up on you from the beginning. Thank you for posting.
Hi Painter, just wanted to post and offer my support. I have been following along to everything that has been transpiring lately. Wow! I hope your H has finally come to his senses this time and gives 100% to R. It is a good start that he sent the NC letter.
I hope you have a wonderful holiday and that 2016 brings better times.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
I'm very angry at H these days. I guess the shock of discovering his/OW's plans to move in together has wore off and anger is taking over. It's difficult because of the holidays and being surrounded by family - I have to suppress my emotions and create cheer and warmth for everyone.
I don't know if I believe he's not in contact with her. He seems to have withdrawn again emotionally. We've had some fights. He gets very mean and says things that would have ended any friendship.
Once Christmas is over, I will get back to GAL. The last few months have been focused on work and I haven't had much fun.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
I don't know how you do it, Painter. I understand why they say Piecing is the hard part. I still have random thoughts of my H having a last minute change of mind. I actually had a dream last night and it kind of freaked me out. Quite frankly, I am not sure what I would say. As much of me that remains hopeful for this, another part of me does not want him back. I am glad to see your going to make time for you after Christmas. Maybe a nice long massage!! That is my plan.
Be thankful that you have family around to help you get through the day. Have a wonderful Christmas!!
Last edited by BT13; 12/24/1502:14 PM.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
I'm still following along, Painter. Unlike BT, I know exactly what I would do: I'd take him back in a heartbeat, as long as we start seeing a MC. There's no way I ever want to go through this again, and I figure it was a lack of communicating effectively that got us to this point.
I invited H over to spend part of the day at home with the kids. At first, I thought I was crazy, but I feel a real peace about it. If nothing else, he will get a bird's eye view of just what he is giving up. I hope it haunts him over the next few months. Our kids may be grown, but they are happiest around their intact family - not this broken, new version. I'd be willing to put up with a lot for my kids. I thought that was our agreement when we started having them.
This should be an interesting holiday. I have a feeling I'll be checking in a lot to avoid doing something I'll regret here at home. My plan when around H is to be aloof, but friendly. I'll interact with the kids with all the love I usually show them, but he'll see something he's never seen before. Me, having nothing much to say to him. I hope it stings.
In case I miss you tomorrow, have a very Merry Christmas! I'll be thinking of you!
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
Painter, I'm stopping by to live vicariously through your thread. There was a time in the not so distant past when I thought I was piecing with my Wife, only to learn of continued contact. I don't know where it was leading, nor do I really care. I just would like insights into WTF it keeps going on...
Me-38 W-38; T-15 M-12; S10 and S6 BD - July 2016; EA confirmed; confronted Aug 2015 EA dissolved 12/2016
Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option - Maya Angelou
