So H let the kids down again! I'm starting to wonder if there is more to all this than meets the eye. Every weekend that he has had off since he left he has done this. Said he'll be round at tea time even though he's not at work at all, then cancel when it's almost time to come round.
Yet again he has said he can't come round because his Dad is upset (his Mum died in February). Was very tempted to reply "So are your kids." but I resisted. I did, however, ask if he was still coming round. His reply was "Waiting to see." So as I was out with my Mum and D at the time anyway we decided to have tea at my parents house. I am not waiting in for H anymore just for him to let us all down and then sit in the house all alone. I text him to ask him to let me know if he was going to come. I heard absolutely nothing back for 3 hours, then at 9pm he texts back that he is just trying to get his Dad to eat something. Meanwhile, back in the real world I'm consuling S who was distraught and angry that yet again Dad didn't show.
H came round to see the kids today and stayed for 5 hours. It was hard. I went out for just over an our to get some groceries. Made some lunch (H had some too) and then H put a film on for him and the kids to watch. I sat and watched some of it while flitting in and out sorting laundry. Then promplty burst into floods of tears when he left. I can't handle any of this at all.
Inpain, please keep strong. I was like that with my H when he was home, now I don't care what he does. Be there for your kids. Remember that you are the adult here and the only person they can rely on.
My sister told me that she knows two set of kids when the dad had an A/ left the mum. They told her that the best thing that their mother did was/ is to be there for them and they really see who their dads are! This speaks volumes to me.
It's really hard but it is early stage for you. Keep faith. I can assure you that it'll bet better :-)
Inpain, please keep strong. I was like that with my H when he was home, now I don't care what he does. Be there for your kids. Remember that you are the adult here and the only person they can rely on.
My sister told me that she knows two set of kids when the dad had an A/ left the mum. They told her that the best thing that their mother did was/ is to be there for them and they really see who their dads are! This speaks volumes to me.
It's really hard but it is early stage for you. Keep faith. I can assure you that it'll bet better :-)
Thanks for posting Rouky. I am trying to stay strong but I am failing miserably. I just can't stop crying. I just want him to tell me he's changed his mind every time I see him, and every time I see him and he hasn't changed his mind it crushes me a little bit more. I don't know how he is being so strong. I can't see a better out there. All I can see is more pain. I don't feel like I can do this DBing thing or get over this. I know what you're saying, that it's early days, but I just feel like I want to curl up and die. Every morning I wake up and I feel like I've been punched in the stomach.
I'm so sorry, if I could I'd take the pain away from you. I'm 5 months into this more than you, until a month ago I was like you. What you are feeling is normal, let it go through you. Don't fight it! I think it's more the shock that at the moment there is no future with H.
You don't know what the future holds, but at the moment future isn't on our card, the present is. My IC told me to say 10 things I'm grateful for the day and 3 positives things that happened, at first I thought it was silly and hard, but I have been doing it for a month now and my mood is better.
I'm so sorry, if I could I'd take the pain away from you. I'm 5 months into this more than you, until a month ago I was like you. What you are feeling is normal, let it go through you. Don't fight it! I think it's more the shock that at the moment there is no future with H.
You don't know what the future holds, but at the moment future isn't on our card, the present is. My IC told me to say 10 things I'm grateful for the day and 3 positives things that happened, at first I thought it was silly and hard, but I have been doing it for a month now and my mood is better.
Hang in there,
Huge amount of hugs:-)
Thank you Rouky. I'll try to do that too. Thank you for caring enough to post. Feeling so alone.
I can so relate. Have you got any hobbies? I like going to the cinema, swimming, reading and cooking. Do something you like. It doesn't need to cost you a lot. Just do something for you even for 15 minutes as it'll take your mind of thing for a while and you'll feel better
I can so relate. Have you got any hobbies? I like going to the cinema, swimming, reading and cooking. Do something you like. It doesn't need to cost you a lot. Just do something for you even for 15 minutes as it'll take your mind of thing for a while and you'll feel better
Trust me I have been there.
I have a hobby that takes up an entire room in the house. I scrapbook photos and make cards, but since H left I have not had the slightest inclination to do it. I've even tried to force myself but it is like nothing is any good without him in my life. I feel all consumed by H, what he's doing and wishing he still loved me.
Then don't do this one. Have you got something else you like doing but that is not regular? You need to try/ find something new to do. I know it's hard, taking the first step is always the hardest, once you done it, there is no stopping!
Give it just 5 minutes to start with, then 10 the next day, and carry on. You'll succeed as you are a smart, strong and loveable humain being. Don't ever forget this Inpain.
Then don't do this one. Have you got something else you like doing but that is not regular? You need to try/ find something new to do. I know it's hard, taking the first step is always the hardest, once you done it, there is no stopping!
Give it just 5 minutes to start with, then 10 the next day, and carry on. You'll succeed as you are a smart, strong and loveable humain being. Don't ever forget this Inpain.
Hmmm...don't think I'm any of those things right now, and I know I need to change that way of thinking, but it is so hard when the person who promised to love you forever, no matter what, doesn' think you're loveable anymore.
